A quest to find peace within…

This is a post by a sister who has gone through a lot in order to find peace within herself. She was about to give up when she found what she was looking for- Islam. Turning to Allah has made her happier and at peace with herself. Read here what Anonymous Sister has say about her quest to find this peace and what happens after….

Fate was something I never believed in. ‘I’m free to choose my own life’- is what I thought while growing up. My childhood was probably the happiest part of my life because later everything I loved and appreciated disappeared. All that I believed in didn’t make sense anymore. The day I began to doubt my ideas of life is when the collapses began.

There were things which always gave me strength to live even when my world was collapsing around me; I could spend hours listening to music or reading poetry or just dreaming. However with time it stopped working and I started looking for ways to be at peace with myself and to find the strength to accept my fate. I did many things which I bitterly regret today but every single breath in my life made me who I’m and has brought me to where I’m now. I did many things that today’s youth consider as fun: alcohol, cigarettes, clubs, nights without sleeping but after a while I understood that this is not me, I don’t feel right I just kept regretting what I was doing day after day. Then there was once when I fell crazily in love. That person showed me a whole new world of feeling and he taught me how to love, from the bottom of your heart. Not to be afraid to sacrifice everything for the one you love because in the end you will be happy. Unfortunately that also ended for me, and sometimes it still depresses me. BUT now I know everything that happens to you has a meaning and in the end is good for you, even though at that time you might feel like you are dying.

When I was lost in life I started thinking about my roots, my religion. I was born in a Muslim family but till that point hadn’t thought about it seriously. Now I wanted to know more and more about islam. Day by day I read, I asked and I understood. The thing that I was looking for and which will give me true peace was near me all the time, it was Islam. Not just the religion but the way of life. Whatever question you have Islam has the answer for you. I understood if I will follow it I will be happy. However there was one thing which was extremely hard for me – hijab. Even though my parents are Muslim, the society which I grew up in has a lot of stereotypes about hijab and don’t like people wearing it. So it was hard to start wearing it. But I love Islam and I believe in la ilaha il allah, and if you believe in something you accept everything. You can’t say I love Allah (swt) but hijab is too much. If you love Allah (swt) and consider yourself as Muslim you have to do what Allah (swt) told you to do in his holy book. Religion is not an optional thing; you can’t choose the part you like and ignore the rest.

(Image courtesy: http://sabrinajali.tumblr.com/post/12954921863)

Everything in Islam makes me happy, it gives me peace. Understanding that I am never alone, that Allah is always with me makes my life so much brighter. That’s why I started wearing hijab, I don’t really like this piece of cloth on my head. After the first time I was ready to take it off because it was so uncomfortable, people around were asking questions about the purpose of wearing it, many of my friends turned their back on me because they didn’t like these changes in me. But still I’m wearing it because my God told me to cover myself. My Lord gave me life, he guided me. Alhamdulillah, every single thing in this life is from Allah, so how can I disobey him? Even though I don’t like it, hijab is such a small thing compared to the contentment I feel now by knowing that I’m on the right way, and I only ask Allah (swt) to strengthen my faith.

PS: I’m bad in expressing my feelings and thoughts but I just wanted to share this with everyone who is thinking about a change in their life. It will be hard in the beginning but at the end you will realize how lucky you are to be a part of the Muslim ummah. I don’t remember where I heard it from but it goes something like this: I hate Muslims but I love Islam. Yes Muslims are not always perfect, there are bad people as well as good in our ummah. So do not judge my religion by its people, judge Muslims by the rights of Islam.  We are not perfect but our religion is. We are not always on the right path but if we follow Islam we will be, Insha Allah.

“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.”

Those who have believed and done righteous deeds – a good state is theirs and a good return.” (Quran, 13:28-29)

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2 thoughts on “A quest to find peace within…

  1. WOW! sobhnaAllah! your story is EXACTLY my story!!!!!! amazing!
    i’m also a muslim-born, but i went thru everything to finally realize that Islam is honestly the way of life…..i also had to work toward the hijab, study the Qu’ran, and everytime i smoked or went to hooka bars, didn’t feel myself.. may Alah make it easy on you in future and keep it up
    ameeen

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